Just one line today

Woke up this morning, and the first thing on my mind was "take the test". So I did. Not pregnant. I'm sadder about it than I thought I would be. I really convinced myself I was, I think... I don't know that I've ever had the vibe like I did with BG, but I really believed I was listening to my body and my little voice and in tune with things, and I'm later than I think I should be and... well, not pregnant. I thought I had listened long enough to the physical signs. And the intuition, that voice that nags "find a new OB asap, and get the spare room cleaned NOW!" Not even up for questioning. And a little unprepared for the disappointment. I guess next month is another month. And rationally I can say that it's not like we've been trying for long and if it didn't happen this time, it just means it's not the right time... but part of me wants to blame Dr. Evil for cutting me, wounding my delicate womanparts, wounding my confidence, wounding my spirit. I feel like a failure. And a little stupid for wasting a test when money is such an issue for us right now. MB is ok about it, I don't think he really understands why I'm so cranky about it.